Secret Kids’ Business

Sunday mornings like today are commonly reserved for rest and relaxation. But as people wake up this morning they know that for most of the week they are probably pretty exhausted. We all have plenty of demands on our time and energy. And our kids are no different. A lot of the time they finish the week just as exhausted as we do and therefore need down-time also as much as we do. I wrote this post to help kids to recognise when they need to take some time away from “their rat race” and to give them a strategy they can use to take care of themselves. The language is aimed at kids between about 8 and 13, but anyone can use the tips it includes. I’d love it if you’d share it with your kids. If you’d like to share it with younger kids, try simply doing the activity with them. As for the teens, just make a suggestion that they ignore the younger language and take what they need out of it. Hope all your kids get something out of it. I’d love to hear how it goes for them!  🙂 

 

What kinds of things do you do during your day? When I was at school I remember getting up early to make my bed (well, sometimes I did. Most of the time I tried to get away without doing it). I got dressed, had breakfast, did some jobs and then went to school. I did all my work at school, and I concentrated pretty hard to get things right. When I went outside at lunch times I sometimes played games with other kids. I had 2 friends who used to fight a lot and I helped them be friends again. I spent most of the time alone and I got teased and bullied too. After school I went home and did my homework and then did more jobs. Some days I watched my brothers play sports. I read books a lot. It was my way of getting away from all the bullying. I rode my bike sometimes. And I worried a lot. I worried about my friends and about how much people didn’t like me.

What do you do? Do you do sports? Practice a musical instrument maybe? Or do you get tutoring to help with school work? Do you dance or go to gymnastics classes? Do you visit family or friends?

I bet doing all that stuff would make you pretty busy! I wonder whether you get tired by the time you get home?

How does it feel inside your body when you’re tired? Do you feel sleepy? I bet that sometimes you can feel tired but not want to sleep. For me my arms and legs feel pretty heavy, like they don’t want to follow my instructions to move them. Sometimes my tummy feels a bit funny too. Almost like I’m hungry but also like I have snakes slithering around in there. Sometimes I feel really cranky like I want to yell and other times I feel like I want to hide from everyone. Do you feel any of these? Or maybe for you it’s a bit different?

If we listen closely to our body sometimes it’s kind of like it’s talking to us and we can figure out what it wants. It can take a bit of practice, but trying different things sometimes helps discover what makes us feel calmer and happier. Those things will be different for us on different days because we feel different too.

Sometimes we really don’t know what to do when we feel funny and we can end up being cranky with the people we love the most. That can be our mums and dads, our brothers and sisters, or even our best friends. And that’s not always the nicest thing to do. We can feel pretty horrible when we do stuff like that.

It can help to try other things instead. I often suggest that kids make a box especially for themselves. You could call it whatever you want to. Maybe Alice’s box, or Jack’s box if your name is Alice or Jack. Or you could have a little fun with it and name it after your favourite movie character or even make up your own name for it. You could decorate it however you want too.

Inside the box put lots of different things you could do to help you feel better after a tiring day. Try putting in some of your favourite activities, like a bouncy ball, dancing, reading, listening to music, colouring, riding your bike or playing with your dog. Some things will be too big for the box so you could just write them on some paper instead. If you have trouble thinking of things to put in, you could ask someone in your family for help. And when you try new activities that really help you to feel good, you could put those in the box too!

When the box is ready, on the days you feel a bit funny inside, you could tell mum or dad that you need your box and then choose something that you want to try. If one thing doesn’t work, just put it back in and choose something else.

We’d love to know what’s inside your special box so if you’d like to share with us, maybe mum can help you type them in the comments below. And you may be giving other kids some great ideas for things they can put in their box too!

 

Creating your Vision

Many people experience difficulties achieving what they want in their lives. They get caught up in the day-to-day drudgery that is life. Kids, work, in-laws, finances, spouses, study, managing a house and home. In other words, responsibilities. They can be never-ending. And the “sameness” of them can send (and keep) us into a routine that can wear us out and make us feel like we have nowhere to go. However, there is a simple strategy that can help open our minds up to possibilities outside the day-to-day routine.

If you have something in the back of your mind that you wish you could achieve and feel disempowered to make happen because of your current circumstances, then this could be for you. Whether your dream consists of a mansion, a hobby farm, a career you’re passionate about, a family, or to run a marathon, this could help you to make it happen. It may even be a general “this is who I want to be given the experiences I have had in my life”.

Vision Boards have long been used as a visual representation of our goals and dreams. They have helped people to manifest into their lives, the things or experiences they desire. They can also help us get clarity about what we want out of life and live by our values.

The theory is that if you create your vision board and then display it in a prominent place where you can see it every morning when you get out of bed and every evening before you sleep, your mind takes in the images and helps you spot experiences in your life that will help you get what you place on the board.

The method used to create one is quite simple.

1. Grab a heap of art and craft supplies such as craft glue, gel pens, pencils, textas, crayons, pastels, scissors, stickers, wool, feathers, paint, chalk, coloured paper, decorative scrapbooking things, stamps, old magazines, pinterest pictures, photos, and so on. You can choose everything from this list or just one or two things. Or even other things not on the list. Anything that appeals to you, really. These supplies can be purchased from art supply stores, or if you prefer try some of the discount “$2” shops (which is where I get all my supplies). Old magazines can be purchased for a few cents at some op shops, or ask around your friends, family or neighbours for some they don’t need.
2. You can use a piece of cardboard, paper or even an art canvas as your board.
3. Arrange some uninterrupted time where you can sit quietly. Spread out your supplies so they are within easy reach, or at least so you aren’t having to jump up to get something else every 5 minutes.
4. You may like to play some quiet music (preferably relaxation, but that’s a personal choice) or if you prefer work in silence. There is something about the solitude that allows our unconscious to surface. If you’d like to grab a snack that’s cool but it’s certainly not essential.
5. Set your intention. Think about what you want your board to be about. Whether you want your career to turn a corner, attract a potential spouse, become a fitter and healthier you, or whether you want to explore who you really are, keep it in your mind or even say it out loud or write it down. Keep it close by while you work so you can glance at it when you need to. You might like to take 3-5 long slow, deep breaths to calm your heart rate before you start.
6. Begin by looking through all the materials you have gathered. If using magazines, look for pictures, words or symbols. If something jumps out at you, bring it out and put it aside for your board. Try not to analyse or think too much about your choices. The idea is to use the unconscious part of your mind and the best way to do that is to go with your gut instinct on what you choose. So if it jumps out at you, then go with it.
7. You can choose to either attach your items to your board as you go or collect them all first. Again, try not to think too hard about where you place things on your board. Go with what feels right to you.
8. When you have completed your board your hands will naturally stop working and it will FEEL complete. Again, don’t analyse it. Trust that your instinct is doing its job.
9. Sometimes sharing your board and explaining it to someone else will help to clarify and cement what you have just completed. Sometimes when you start talking you can be surprised by what comes out of your mouth. I have often thought “where did that come from” immediately after saying something about my board. And sometimes it can be a bit emotional to voice some of this subconscious stuff, so please don’t be surprised if you feel some tears well up. If you feel comfortable, allow them to happen. It can be therapeutic and help you cement stuff in your mind. It’s simply an indication that these things are important to you.

I am including some photos of example boards I found on pinterest today. Please remember that these are just examples and are not meant to influence the way you do your board. No two boards are truly the same (nor are they meant to be). They’re kind of like fingerprints; unique. So rather than try to copy the way someone else does it, just allow your hands to do what they want to do. Without judgement or censorship.

One final note: There can be a sense of connection and community from creating vision boards with a group of other people. So why not organise a party of friends and a few hours where you can get together? It can be a lot of fun. Remember though, that creating vision boards can be a very personal experience. When I facilitate groups to create them I set some guidelines at the outset. We follow the “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” theory, along with “share only what you feel comfortable with sharing”. Sometimes what appears on the board is intensely personal. Please respect that sacred space.